Thursday, June 28, 2012

Stop Blaming And Take Responsibility

We have talked about the many mistakes that people will make after a breakup, especially when they are acting with an intention of winning their lover back. If you have read my previous articles, it is now time to put what you have learned to good use, and stop laying blame. Blaming yourself for the break up is pointless. The past is the past, is cannot be changed no matter how much we would like it changed. Blaming yourself for the mistakes you made within your relationship is pointless too, as it is over and you cannot go back and change it, you can only learn from it. So take responsibility and learn, learn, learn.

To not take responsibility and learn from your mistakes is another mistake we make after a break up. Make a promise to yourself from now on that you will take responsibility and not make any of the mistakes that I have written about in these articles. This is a huge opportunity to develop yourself into a healthier, more positive person. If you keep making the mistakes that have been outlined, then what do think will happen? Nothing, nothing will change until you decide that you are going to do something different, something that may work.

Take responsibility by thinking about what your role was in your relationship. Analyse how you think you may have contributed to the relationship ending and think about how you could fix these problems or behaviours. None of us are shrinking violets, we all have flaws. If we can learn from the mistakes in our relationships then we will know what to watch out for in our future relationships.

With everything in life, every decision we make. We make the choice. We need to take responsibility for the path we choose to follow. Many people will say that it was fate that broke up their last relationship, they will say that is wasn’t meant to be. Is it possible that there might have been things they could have done to fix the problems in their relationship? I believe that fate has very little to do with how our life turns out. We make our own fate, we choose where our life goes. Yes, there are many things we cannot control, but we can for most part be in the driver’s seat when it comes to where we want our life and relationship to end up.

A big plus here that I should mention is that the way we behave largely influences the people closest to us. Meaning if we are usually positive, happy and smiling when we are with people, they will respond in kind. If you wish your ex was a more loving person, my advice is to focus on being more loving yourself to your partner and everyone around you. Your ex may well do exactly what you want him or her to do.

Copyright © 2012 Janelle Coulton

Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free ‘Biggest Break up Mistakes’ Mini-Course. Go to: WinBackLove

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Copyright © 2012 Janelle Coulton

Bad Mouthing The Ex

As tempting as it is to have good venting session and bad mouth your ex lover, it is really not a good idea. This will mostly cause a bad feeling within yourself and could leave you feeling more down and depressed than when you started out with your little vent. If you need to get the anger out; may I suggest a counselor, someone you know you can definitely trust, and there is no chance your ex will ever hear about what you have said.

Given that you are trying to rebuild your life and your self esteem, you will not be wanting to delve into negative talk anyway. Of course it’s going to happen, especially directly after a break up. However if you are working on getting them back, any negative talk is counter-productive.

If you really love your ex partner, you will be above negative talk. You will be focused on the positive aspects of what you can do to salvage the relationship. In previous articles I have advised people to not talk too much to their close friends and family about your lost relationship. They will not be objective. If you start bad mouthing your ex, they will jump right in and join you and back you up, and then months later when you and your ex are back together. Your friends or family could well remember what you said, and call you on it.

Any gossiping or negative talk could somehow reach your ex partner’s ear and that will ruin your chances of reconciliation. If you are planning to try and reconcile the relationship with your lost love, realize now that any malicious talk or gossiping will only create bad feelings and if they get to hear about it, they will feel disrespected and hurt, and rightly so.

Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free ‘Biggest Break up Mistakes’ Mini-Course. Go to: WinBackLove

To read more of Janelle Coulton's articles, Please visit at: JanelleCoulton@Suite101 or you can read other blogs at: Janelle's Blogs

Copyright © 2012 Janelle Coulton