This is a subject that I have discussed on my website a few times before and it’s one that should be re-visited. With the wide range of relationship E-books available on the online market, it is important to carefully choose the one’s to purchase.
These E-books will promise the prospective customer the earth when it comes to solving their relationship problems. I am here to tell you; buyer beware! Not all of these books can deliver what they say they can.
One point that I raised on the Jel’s Love Lounge homepage recently was about love, real love. When thinking along the lines of wanting that person back into your life, ask yourself: Does this person really love me? Because if they don’t your chances of winning them back into a loving, caring relationship that goes both ways is slim to none, to say the least. And would you want someone who didn’t love you? I don’t think so.
When I went through the same issues three years ago with my long distance lover, I had the chance to get him back. However it came down to two things. Firstly, the fact that I realized just in time that he did not really love me and that I was fooling myself, and secondly there was another man on the horizon who I had become friends with. This is the man that I am living with now, and he loves me like no other man ever has. But I was so very close to making a foolish mistake in taking my ex back. And given the fact, that I now know he never really loved me, I cannot understand why he would even want me back.
I had my doubts from the moment I began employing the strategies in these books, because we were long distance and a fair distance from each other I might add. But one of the books I bought re-assured me that I would be able to succeed even if he was halfway around the world. This particular book was; Cucan Pemo’s “Bring Back the Love of Your Life.” In my case, Pemo’s book worked, however I also had access to several other books and support from a relationship forum which specialized in helping people in a relationship with someone who was commitment phobic, which my ex was. The frustrating part here is I cannot specify which book or website helped me the most, because I used a combination of these and put my own plan into action. However, I would have to say that Cucan Pemo's and Annalyn Cara's E-books' were my top two. I have since read many more books and I have listed them below in order of my preference.
It is a good idea to do some quality surfing of the net and track down as many relationship sites and e-books as you can find. I would then pick out your top five and research them. I know it all sounds too hard, as going through a break up or relationship troubles is tough enough and thinking clearly is the last thing you may be doing at the moment. But, if you want to fix your relationship or if you want your lover back it is in your best interests to get the best information. Below are a few pointers to follow when looking for a relationship advice e-book.
· Grab anything they offer for free and read it thoroughly.
· Email the author and ask questions about their book. Ask a lot of questions.
· Ask the author/s for some relationship advice about your particular situation.
· Sign up for their newsletter. These are always free.
The bottom line is find the book or books that best suit your situation, everyone is different. By this I mean if your husband/wife is leaving you and you have children, doing no contact like some of these books suggest is not going to assist you, as you need to be in friendly contact with your ex for the sake of the children.
The other issue that I should mention is these books will not work for you unless your ex lover truly loves you. The advice in these books may get you back into a relationship with your ex lover, however it will not last very long. Love has to be present for it to last. If you are not sure if your ex ever loved you or loves you now, pay attention to how they treat you and try and remember how you were treated in the past. When times were good, were those times really great? What about the bad times? The bad times are the tell tales signs in any relationship. How a person treats another in bad times will clearly show you whether your ex lover really, truly, loves you. I can’t stress this point enough, when a person really love’s you they will be right beside you in the bad times to help you both get through them. And the sweetest thing about the bad times is; they bring you both closer.
In the end it all boils down to everyone’s individual situation and love sweet love. If I had not woken up and smelt the coffee three years ago. I truly believe my life would not be where it is today. And for that I am will be forever grateful. It can be so easy to fool ourselves into believing that we are loved by our ex mates but sometimes; sadly it is not the case.
In the final wash up it is your choice whether you decide to purchase one of these stop break up manuals to save your relationship or marriage. There are many cases and testimonials that show that the formulas in these books work, however everyone’s situation is different and what I am saying is this; take a good look at your situation and your relationship and do a little research, before you choose to buy one of these books. I have included a list of my top nine at the end of this article.
The following is a list of my favourite relationship repair E-books:
BringBacktheLoveofYourLife
WinBackLove
Get Her Back
12 Simple Rules
SaveYourMarriageToday
KeepYourMarriage
Get Ex Back
50SecretsToABlissfulMarriage
TheRomantic’sCollection
Is Your Partner A Liar?
Copyright ©2007, Janelle Coulton
You are feeling a great amount of emotions and feelings. These emotions could include; anger, sadness, jealousy, guilt, and rejection, just to name a few. Your heart is broken, your self esteem is shattered and you believe that your now, ex lover is wrong. You believe that they have made the wrong decision and judged you and the relationship too harshly. When we feel unjustly treated our natural action is to defend ourselves by arguing our point of view with our partner.
Believe me when I tell you, this is a pointless exercise that will not endear you to your lost love. It is almost, if not totally impossible to win an argument after a break up. Emotions and feelings from both partners are at breaking point and that protective wall that we build around ourselves when we are hurt goes up. No-one is going to win this argument, as both of you are going to have very differing points of view and so soon after a break up, it is going to be impossible to make your point seem valid to the other person. When it comes to arguments in general, I believe no-one really wins, especially if a compromise or resolution is not reached. This to me, means that one partner loses and the other wins. In which case, the relationship loses. You will not be able to convince your partner that they are wrong immediately after a break up.
This is a no win situation, and you would do well to not get into any sort of argument with your ex. Your goal is to win them back, which is why you are reading these articles. Arguing right and wrong with them will ultimately push them further away from you. It is a natural reaction to argue and defend our point of view and I don’t blame you for feeling like arguing with your partner, given you are feeling devastated inside. However, you need to realize that you will ruin your chances of getting back together with your ex.
If you can sense an argument brewing, walk away. Tell your ex-partner you do not wish to discuss the matter. There will be a time in the future when you and your partner will be in contact again, and you will be feeling a lot more positive and have a different attitude, you partner will see you in a totally different light and it will be these elements that will attract your partner, and remind them why they fell in love with you in the first place.
Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free ‘Biggest Break up Mistakes’ Mini-Course. Go to: WinBackLove
I wish I'd read this book five years ago; I could have saved myself so much angst:
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Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton
Your relationship is over. And you’re left with a broken heart. You are wondering how you can get your lover back. Before you jump in boots and all and chase after them, pleading for them to return it might be in your best interests to take a time out and assess the situation. Think carefully before making any decisions. Given, that this person has left you, do you really want them back? You need to analyse what went wrong in the relationship. Did your lover give you a reason for leaving? There are many people who will do this; leave a relationship and not tell you the reason. It has happened to me, and based on that, I decided I never wanted anything to with them again.
At first I did want him back and I made it my business to set this process in motion. The very first thing that I did was to take some time out and I did not contact him during this time. Five long weeks of no-contact took place and then I heard from him, he was sorry, he was confused, he didn’t know what he wanted; the excuses came thick and fast. He kept up regular phone and email contact for about two months and then one day I wrote him an email, an honest account of how I saw our relationship, it proved to be the kiss of death. Apart from one nasty email about a profile of mine that he’d found on a dating site, that was it and my cue to forget him and move on. I was essentially fooling myself. He was not coming back, and if he had the relationship would have never amounted to what I needed from him in a relationship.
I am now with someone who is with me for the right reasons. He wants an honest and open relationship and he wants to be a loving person to me and our relationship in every way. Yes; we have our share of problems (every relationship does), but things work between us as we share the same values and we do not compromise our beliefs. My previous lover expected me to compromise my values. He expected me to ignore many aspects of my life and be there for him and I was not prepared to do it. He realised in the end that he could not control me. And it wasn’t until the end that I realised the whole relationship had been a game to him. He had been controlled by women all of his life, starting with his mother and I think he was trying to prove that he could have the upper hand with me. It didn’t work, his stupid emotional games sent me running in the opposite direction.
So before you move heaven and earth to re-kindle your love, think long and hard about whether you really want to be with that person. Think about how you were treated in the relationship, particularly the bad times. If your partner treated you with respect and honoured your feelings at all times, then I would say you have a winner. Sadly though, when things turn sour in a relationship, people forget about respect and honouring the other person. It becomes all about them.
Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton
Get Back With Your Ex. His New Lover Doesn't
Want You To Know This: www.dontbreakup.com
Are They Lying To You?
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http://www.freewebs.com/jel1/index.htm
It is so very important that you take some time for yourself, take a breather and stop and take stock of the situation and your feelings before you make the decision to chase after your ex and try to win them back. Your decisions must be based on logic and not emotion. You must take a good look at yourself and the relationship and what it brought to your life before you rush in and start the process of trying to get your ex back.
Asking yourself why you want them back is a good start. You need to understand your feelings and thoughts and be honest about whether you really want this person in life on a permanent basis. It is important that you do not rush this. You will get to the truth the longer you spend alone with your thoughts. You need to look deep inside yourself and be honest about your feelings. Do you really love them, or are you just lonely? This is an easy mistake to make. Missing that person can make you falsely believe you love them, when in-fact you are just lonely and this is not a good enough reason to re-kindle a relationship. If you just miss them, then consider getting yourself a life and finding a partner whom you truly love with all of your heart.
Looking at what went wrong in the relationship is paramount in this situation. If you don’t explore why he or she broke up the relationship, you will not be able to repair the relationship, for example; if your partner told you that they felt taken for granted and that there was not enough affection and love within the relationship, you will need to rectify this problem. You will need to consider changing this about yourself. The relationship will not survive a second go around if you are not prepared to learn from your mistakes, change your behaviour and grow within the relationship. This is why we have relationships, to learn, change and grow. They have dumped you, and they have done this for a reason, chances are it is mostly you who will need to make the changes here necessary for the relationship to flourish.
Once you have worked through the above suggestions, it would be a good idea to set up a meeting, if you feel ready. If not give yourself some more time. Do you feel ready to make the effort to get this relationship back on track? If so, call your ex-lover and them to meet for coffee. Chances are they will agree, especially if your relationship was very special to both of you. Tell them about the work that you have done and the conclusions that you have drawn and explain what is going to change. If your lover still has feelings for you, there is a very good chance that this will work. Nothing in life is ever certain however, to give up on someone that you really love who could possibly be in your life again is worth the risk.
Stick to your promises, and keep your word. Make your actions mimic your words. You have decided to give your relationship a second try, so you must be true to your word and make a committed effort to see it through. Portraying the person you promised to be to your lost love is your top priority. Your relationship will work, as long as you remain true to your words and yourself.
Getting your ex lover back is really not so difficult, providing you both feel the same way about each other. This is a process we go through when we want something bad enough. Your ex will notice the changes in you and the relationship and they will appreciate the effort you are making. So in the end it all becomes worthwhile to dedicate all you can to sustain your relationship. I wish you all the best.
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Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton
Some of us are lucky and have never been through a break-up. However, most of us have been through the pain of being dumped and the pain we feel as the result of a broken heart can leave some of us devastated and unable to contemplate the risk of a relationship ever again. Yet, there are some of us who pick ourselves up and get on with it. We are all different in how emotional pain affects us.
We will at some stage grieve for our lost lover, however the ways in which we choose to grieve can be different for each individual. Some people will swear off love forever, choosing to let fear run their decisions and emotions. Some will begin to date almost immediately and some may concoct a plan to retrieve their lover. Of those who choose to go down the road of winning their lover back, this decision requires careful thought.
It depends on how the relationship ended and the reason the relationship ended. In most relationships it is usually both partners who make or break the relationship. In some cases I have known people to have been dumped by their partner and not be given a reason. You may well ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who leaves you without any kind of explanation. This shows a definite flaw in the communication style of the relationship, meaning the communication was not good. Relationships with poor communication do not last. So firstly, ask yourself if you really want this person, or are you suffering from loneliness or a fear of being alone.
You should also being asking yourself if this person really loves you. I cannot stress this point enough. There is nothing to be gained if your partner does not really love you and chances are you will no succeed in your quest to retrieve their love. I am a true believer that love does not die, it only goes stale. However if a relationship is neglected for a long period of time, the love can be extremely hard to re-kindle.
Were you looking out for yourself in this relationship as well as your partner? It is true that we look out for our lover more than ourselves, but you should not be giving your all to your partner and neglecting yourself. And your partner should not be allowing you to neglect yourself either. If they were, then this really is not the sort of person you need in life. Chances are they were neglecting you and leaving you to carry the load in the relationship. When two people love each other, they take care of each other and help each other. Was this happening in your relationship? If your partner broke up with you, then it is likely that looking after each other was not a priority in your relationship.
Finally it is very easy to lay blame at your partners feet for the flaws in your relationship and the fact that he or she broke your heart. This kind of thinking is pointless and will not achieve anything. You would do better to let go of blame and move towards re-building your life and self esteem. It is only when you can once again be a happy, positive person (the person your ex fell in love with) that you will succeed in winning your lover back.
Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton
Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free ‘Biggest Break up Mistakes’ Mini-Course. Go to: WinBackLove
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