Is Codependence Really A Negative Thing?

Why is it that co-dependence carries such a negative connotation? Is a codependent relationship really such a terrible thing? Of course it is very clear that some people carry the whole codependent attitudes too far, which essentially means that the partners in the relationship are co existing in an unhealthy way.

The word codependent came about when discussing alcoholics and drug addicts. Family who care for addicts and alcoholics are said to be in codependent relationships with the addict. It only becomes unhealthy when the carer of the addict does things for the addict that they can do on their own. For example, an alcoholic vomits all over the floor and his carer cleans it up, He or she should be making the addict clean up their own vomit.

However, there are times when co-dependence is not a bad thing. Codependent couples are extremely loyal to each other, they care for each other, defend each other when someone is putting one of them down and they often will do things for each other out of the goodness of their hearts, nothing more, nothing less. So where do you draw the line when it comes to co-dependence?

This is a couple who are not alcoholics or even addicted to anything at all. They are seemingly healthy physically and mentally, yet they engage in codependent behaviors all the time. If one spouse is covering up something bad that the other spouse did, then perhaps it is codependency on an unhealthy scale, but where we see a marriage of two people who absolutely adore each other and want to do things for each other all the time, I have say what in the heck is wrong with that?

A relationship which is all about two people loving each other, even if their behavior is codependent, simply cannot be a bad thing. There is more about this topic in my article: Pro’s and Con’s of Codependence.

So what do you think? Can a codependent relationship be healthy? Hit the comments with your thoughts and please; no spam and be polite and respectful.

Visit Janelle Coulton, Freelance Writer

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Making Your Ex Lover Jealous

This is one break-up mistake that many of us make and there have been a few relationship experts out there who have encouraged people to do this. Get a new lover and flaunt your new love in your ex’s face and he or she will come running back to you. Perhaps this premise sounds realistic, but I don’t think so.

Firstly, you are essentially using the new person to make your ex jealous and if they have half a brain, they will realize this and dump you like a hot potato. Your ex will also see that you are in-fact using this person to make them jealous and their opinion of you will take a serious dive.

Secondly, they may ask you to come back, out of simple insecurity with themselves, and to see if the other person was indeed serious competition. When they realize this is not the case, you will be right back where you started.

Lastly, they may believe that you are not available and could surmise that they should move on, and perhaps find themselves a new lover. If they were having doubts about whether they should have ended the relationship, well they will not be second guessing themselves now.

You want to get back with your ex lover and sometimes those feelings of rejection, hurt, anger and sadness can push us to do some crazy things. Our emotions take over and we feel torn inside out and we will sometimes do desperate things. Attempting to make your ex jealous is not going to bring their love back. It will push their love away. Beside you do not want your ex to be feeling jealous. Jealousy can be a very destructive and dangerous emotion and can lead to feelings of resentment, which will not help you in your quest to win back your lover.

If your ex sees that you are trying to make them jealous, they may also feel that you are trying to manipulate them or control them and this will definitely not help the situation. No-one wants to be controlled, humans want a freedom of choice and you want your ex to feel free to choose to be with you once again.


Get a hold of a decent relationship rescue book such as the one below and read my blog post about No Contact; this is a proven technique that has worked for many people who are trying to re-kindle their relationship or marriage.


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