It is so very important that you take some time for yourself, take a breather and stop and take stock of the situation and your feelings before you make the decision to chase after your ex and try to win them back. Your decisions must be based on logic and not emotion. You must take a good look at yourself and the relationship and what it brought to your life before you rush in and start the process of trying to get your ex back.
Asking yourself why you want them back is a good start. You need to understand your feelings and thoughts and be honest about whether you really want this person in life on a permanent basis. It is important that you do not rush this. You will get to the truth the longer you spend alone with your thoughts. You need to look deep inside yourself and be honest about your feelings. Do you really love them, or are you just lonely? This is an easy mistake to make. Missing that person can make you falsely believe you love them, when in-fact you are just lonely and this is not a good enough reason to re-kindle a relationship. If you just miss them, then consider getting yourself a life and finding a partner whom you truly love with all of your heart.
Looking at what went wrong in the relationship is paramount in this situation. If you don’t explore why he or she broke up the relationship, you will not be able to repair the relationship, for example; if your partner told you that they felt taken for granted and that there was not enough affection and love within the relationship, you will need to rectify this problem. You will need to consider changing this about yourself. The relationship will not survive a second go around if you are not prepared to learn from your mistakes, change your behaviour and grow within the relationship. This is why we have relationships, to learn, change and grow. They have dumped you, and they have done this for a reason, chances are it is mostly you who will need to make the changes here necessary for the relationship to flourish.
Once you have worked through the above suggestions, it would be a good idea to set up a meeting, if you feel ready. If not give yourself some more time. Do you feel ready to make the effort to get this relationship back on track? If so, call your ex-lover and them to meet for coffee. Chances are they will agree, especially if your relationship was very special to both of you. Tell them about the work that you have done and the conclusions that you have drawn and explain what is going to change. If your lover still has feelings for you, there is a very good chance that this will work. Nothing in life is ever certain however, to give up on someone that you really love who could possibly be in your life again is worth the risk.
Stick to your promises, and keep your word. Make your actions mimic your words. You have decided to give your relationship a second try, so you must be true to your word and make a committed effort to see it through. Portraying the person you promised to be to your lost love is your top priority. Your relationship will work, as long as you remain true to your words and yourself.
Getting your ex lover back is really not so difficult, providing you both feel the same way about each other. This is a process we go through when we want something bad enough. Your ex will notice the changes in you and the relationship and they will appreciate the effort you are making. So in the end it all becomes worthwhile to dedicate all you can to sustain your relationship. I wish you all the best.
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Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton
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